AWARENESS

The municipality became famous not with its multiple hectars of springwater forest resort, sweetest pineapple or hacienda where one of the few business mogul with its lavish style and famous spanish name live by. With its towering mountains all around the area where some of the famous manufacturing companies did their business with fresh air that enticed them for so many years. The third class municipality not because of all those, became knowN anywhere even overseas but because of the crime which was so popular that made it through its way in the film industry.

Calauan in the province of Laguna is composed of less than 60,000 residents and less than 22,000 voters. The companies are gone now like the wind in mid summer day. Came the President elected in the year 1998, the dollar value to peso went up while sipping hot tea in HongKong. Years gone and while watching the snowflakes down to my feet, heard the news of National Housing Authority settled in one barangay out of seventeen. The location was perfect with sprawling hills and naive residents but with live the highest registered voters.

The naive new housewife, in love and settled in the land of milk and honey is always curious just like her father who envisioned the community with leading restaurants, malls and quality education. The father built the highest tower and made the place the most expensive and sought for every shrewd, greedy or passionate for profit as the objective.

Time flies so fast and with three brilliant and pretty siblings living with mixtures of languages and the kingdom of the free, decided to go back for the taste of the sweetest lansones and pineapple. From there the difference arise like heaven and hell. Poverty is eveywhere. Recession became a surprised to many and the global warming alarmed those who are aware. From the many few, fortunate and blessed felt with  compasion to help the same time as the heartbeats so fast like a racing animal focus to win.

Knowledge became the stressed free zone, with settings so different from what usually own. Came the typhoon that washed out all the covers of home and people to death, opened the eyes that somebody could lead. Efforts did through connections and murmuring. 96 in a paper bags with clothes, shoes, rice and goods distributed to the neighboring city. Overwhelmed with the capacity to give and to lead but disappointed why cant those in position can be.

As the confidence to proceed  and knowledge receieved like gifts thats ready to give. Decided to join the romance with dirty politics like a child, wide eyes and ready to see. Those mountains, rivers and bamboo that leads to nowhere, reached and touched like an angel gone down from the sky, so many truths that nobody even uttered, realized the future and the reality of none.

Started to share the advocacy for trees, as natural from all RA's from 6969 to 9003, shared and spent the life like a bee. The heart of the sea saw the laziness of some free, dependent and happy with the boardgame or a game in a table which only now I see, why people are blaming others for the richness they dont  seek and just sitting like a tree.

Standing in the podium and telling what can someone do, like a fortress and someone is the queen. The only one who has plan and ready to be, as helpful like someone who can die for free. Lost is absurd and painful as it be but gained the soul when someone as supportive as he. Awareness is the truth that everyone must see, to believe and be concerned not just as lazy like she. Did an extra effort even obstacles felt, as long knowledge and wisdom can bring someones home, to share and to show, what life really is. Awareness is the key, for everyone to see.

SIN AND SINNER

 

by Grace Nicolas on Monday, November 15, 2010 at 6:27pm

 We went to one Catholic Parish Church yesterday. I know the priest very well personally and I joined my two relatives to go there with an intention to ask him about the issue of Reproductive Health bill because i want to know their idea about it first hand.

He looks different now since I last saw him. He is physically fit, smarter but still with that same smile on his face. He was from louisiana, one remote place in philippines where the means of living is selling native products like baskets, place mats or anything out of panday leaves which gave me an idea that one day i'll have a time to go there and see those things for myself. Curious and for business I guess.

We said our greetings till got a chance to asked him what he is usually doing as a priest or was it always the same everyday...he told me aside being the director of family and living something which really got my attention, he is also facebooking..to my surprised actually...so using my iphone, asked the password and voila!, i am connected.

I asked him what is the biggest issue the catholic church is facing right now? and suddenly with a twinkle in his eyes he said wt an upbeat voice than befoore.."RH BILL". alright gotcha! I asked him why? he narrated that there are pro rh who are just attending the events or rally because someone is paying them to go with extra food..so I am like thinking....why I didn't receive anything like that and I am surely not hakot because I went to all rallies and events with just a driver and myself, not minding the two hours drive and traffic at SLEX and not to mention the effort.

He said also about that the bill promotes abortion. well, as I read all the bills...there is one thing about abortion from that bill and it is PREVENTION. I remember one katekista and asked him if he is a PRO he said no, I asked him if he knows what H BILL is all about and he said again..NO. How come people will be so against if they didnt even know anything about it. I am so dissapointed and thinking...am I the only one thinking about this?

He said the the "catholic church CONDEMN THE SIN BUT NOT THE SINNER"....suddenly I remember what Carlos Celdran did, the famoust tourist guide and became more famous for the method he used inside the Manila Cathedral during the Ecumenical meeting with a Damaso sign with him. So i asked again, "what do you mean by that father?"...he said an example about he Pope before, someone tried to kill him, the pope forgave him and even embraced the man but he was imprisoned because of the law of the government...so i understand.

I asked him again, "Father is using a condom a sin?"..he said YES, because there must be a union..kaya nga raw sinabi ng diyos before "Humayo kayo at magpakarami..", I told him that it might be applicable before but not now. He told me also about the muslim issues that in the year 2030, te philippines might be a slamic or muslim country..why? because for every couple the minimum children is eight, well i was informed before that if you are a muslim you are allowed to have four wives so I computed at instant if one man have 4 wives with 8 kids each as a minimum, for every man, he will have a minimum of 32 siblings....then remember a certain actor who converted himself to become a muslim because of his man women...for me, he is just justifying that it was just okey because he is a muslim now, but for me it is still just his scapegoat.

i asked him again "Father how about masturbating, is it a sin?" he said YES, and I am like, really!!!!...he said that is why they are celebating( is my spelling correct?). anyway..he said he is just praying and go to sleep when....
...to make the story short..because I know him pretty well..I know he is lying...when i was a child my mom told me to give donations to church because thats the only way the priest can survive..from the donations...until, he saw my iphone and asked how much is it and i told him right now its only $99.00 in the states and he was like ok ill get one....

I asked one of my employee this morning..I said..come here I have something to ask..."Is masturbating a sin?" he was surprised, he thought i am gonna asked him if there were materials that are lost or broken or something..though he answered..No its not...and he doesnt believe about what the priest said because he said, even a family man is doing it, what more if you dont have a partner.

I am a Catholic and I believe about there are external forces helping and planning about everything, just like what Steve Jobs said...connect the dots backwards for you to move forwards and if he didnt became out of school in college maybe he will not be where he is now, maybe there is no pixar, iphone, macbook etc etc...he was talking as a guest infront of an ivy league graduates.

Curiosity kills the cat, well maybe he was not thinking well, that is why i am into continous education because knowledge is power though there are many geniuses who dont need to finish their college because at an early age they did something different already that others cant and bacame exceptional in their field. But because people are not satisfied..we innovate because of the need...we have cission thats why we act...we have reason to believe, a choice and could differentiate what is wrong and what is right. i beleieve that the basis of good morals came from home, if you don't have a good family with you, where did you get the basis of your judgements? I know experience is the best teacher which in my case is my mother...my first teacher literally, she knows what i am doing and supporting me all the way.

I respect my priest friends bcause they also believe on something..just like we all do. but aside from that nothing more..there is nobody holy for moi. everyone is a sinner..there just some gauge and measures. Nobody is perfect anyway. but i also believe that to speak up, to stand even alone as long as you know you are right is courageous to me. I don't believe now with many loyal friends...proven...maybe FEW but not many..they might be there when you have something or they need you but you will experience the meaning of friendship if they are still there when EVERYONE LEFT YOU.

FRIENDS? WHO ATTENDED MY PARTY.

FACING THE WAVE

by Grace Nicolas on Sunday, November 7, 2010 at 6:59pm

 

 My mother then wanted me to be a nun. She was serving the community for 15 years as a Kindergarten teacher. She was my first teacher of course, she taught me everything, from sacificing, being a martyr, to always do good to others, to love my only two sisters for the reason that we are only three and that our hearts belongs to each other. She was lovely and today, more beautiful and getting prettier each day, maybe because of the wisdon, love, support and satisfaction from all the things around her.

She taught us how to pray. She was always the host or emcee to all graduation rights or programs when I was still in my elementary school. She is polite, intelligent, rational and most of all..love us so much. She gave us everything our hearts desired even until this very moment. My life revolves only with my family, school and our family construction hardware store.

On the other hand, My dad was the smart, ambitious, thrifty, handsome, boy next door look alike, doesn't care what other people might say as long as he knows he is right, had lots of dreams and visions for his family and for the community. I even believed and still believing because he has the heart for the community, he will be the best and better mayor of this little place of ours. But that's the worst thing that you would say to him for he doesn't have any fait in our political system or government.

I am reading now the Student Handbook for the first time. It is so Catholic. To be subjective rather than objective?. A lot of things are written in any books but I am very sure some are lies. Well, the writer could be in a hurry for the target date of submission. As a catholic for 35 years and told myself that will not change to other religion, as I grow older and face a lot of troubles, criticisms, trials which only lead me to become more stronger, I begun to love life more than before.

I am enjoyed attending community development meetings such as the "Mulat Pinoy", they presented a lot of whats happening right now specially about the population development, control, family planning, poverty, reproductive health bill and help of media about these. I  told them why I attended, for information and more knowledge that I could share in Laguna.

I met again some familiar faces like Ana Santos from Sex and sensibilities who is also a writer, Tita Beth Angsioco from manilla Standard and a lot of exeptionally talented people who are making a difference in their own way, one step at a time. It was my Mothers Birthday and I am not with her, I sacrificed my time wt my only mother to attend the meeting at Quezon City for the whole community. Got lots off text from my hubby and relatives, why now for so many days? i told them, because my mom already know how much I love her and I want my mother to be proud of me by helping other people.

I am a working mother, student with only one subject in preparation for my PhD which I am thinking Environmental Science to be the major. I am an environmentalist and attended meetings at DENR for Earthday Network Philippines, another organization that I am geting information to become aware about what is happening around our only environment. A lot of people in Laguna dont discuss things like these, probably because of poverty or culture.

It is a sad realization. But an achievement to know that there are people who stil cares and can do something even it's hard for almost everyone to accept the changes and informations about the truth that is happening in ur country today. There are so many issues and I am even confuse why I am thinking about all of these. I am so busy with my construction projects as the senior engineer of my own company, a graduating student, a mother of three with demanding but responsible and loving husband, a daughter who always like to help her parents and  a  niece trying t be good in so many ways to help and show love to her relatives.

Yes, Iam misunderstood, might be misguided but I know inside my heart that i could do something..I dont know yet what will it be, but confident I am..I know it will come soon and I will welcome it wit my two little hands.

SIN OF WRITING A NOTE IN FACEBOOK

by Grace Nicolas on Thursday, November 4, 2010 at 12:04am

 The woman said to fight for what is right and she believes that the truth will set us free. I believed in her, gave me strenght, reason to proceed based on my principles and been with her quite a few times but meaningful and full of character reasoning. I am from this small town, naive as I am and with no influence of worldly selfishness and cowardness. We are three in the family, all girls, all professonals and married. My dad gave his time to share wisdom and trained us to be independent and not shy. On the other hand, my mother was our first teacher, literally, for fifteen years she taught kindergartens and loved by her pupils.

Our life revolves only from house to school, or from our small hardware store to school or just visiting relatives during holiday season. I spent my two decades in the construction industry where my parents prove to everyone how to become successful from scratch. Our life is changing. Principle number five from the Financial mangement is the Curse of competitive market and principle number two is the time value of money. I learned this from the Graduate school where I am finishing my thesis right now. Before I could say Arib....a, Now? Theres something that hinders me to say that one word. If i didn't join this 2010 May election and filed a leave of absence from that school, I will be graduating as a Magna Cum Laude, I risked that part for the betterness of everyone but not for myself. Public service is a martyrs work, time, effort, money and sacrificing are part of the everyday life which in my case, I am willing to do for the sake of others. My husband supported me and my mom.... but my dad? he refused to even gave me some words of wisdom about politics and always telling me then... to quit.

I lost.... I cried and hide for two months in my bedroom. Text and phone calls are all around for moi but told everyone that I am okey though deep inside, I am furious for my decision to run. But no regrets right now, my eyes are very wide open about poverty... After two months, I gained back my confidence, I was elected as the Public Relation Officer from the Grad School student council and did my best to prove my worth even for the small school organization. The president and the secretary are happy to meet me always and I kinda felt the energies of helping and doing everything with the help of two of them. They are both supportive and in return, I gave my all, for the student council.

As naive as I am, I thought all students who got elected are confident, concerned, supportive and really have the hearts to help, I was wrong. Some are happy because of the status, some dont even attended the meetings most of the time. I was so dissapointed and really want to make a difference and  so i befriended everyone. I am not really a friendly approachable person but If i will focus my attention to one thing, I know I can do it. This is also what I am telling to my eldest daughter, Andria, she is still a child at ten years old of age and still have lots of things to do, so focus in one subject is not in her vocabulary.

A lot of things happened, complaints here complaints there which  just like a candy that can throw to each other without thinking of the consequences. A lot got affected and moi the most. I thought I have few loyal friends, I was wrong, I stand with my principles and even alone and knows the truth, still remain active, over confident and makes me more stronger than before. I thought a lot of things that I prove were all wrong. Trust must be gained and for me, It's easy to just give it away because of my upringing. Dont do to others what you dont want others to do unto you.. thats what I am always thinking and prove to be just a hearsay. From the homily, the priest said " If somebody throw a stone to you, throw it back with bread or if you are really rich, make it from french baker.

I began to love our environment from one of my favorite professor Engr. Rey Robles, he is funny, young and professional. I learned a lot from republic act 6969 to republic act 9003. I learned how long the plastic, glass bottles, filters from cigarettes will be decompose, I am thankful, I have some more knowledge to impart or share to those unpriveledge children, so I founded the "Do It Right Advocacy". So far we have 455 members and exchanging informations and ideas about climate change or global warming or everything about the current events, politics or even fashion shows as long as it is for doing the right thing. We reached a lot of lives. We had feeding programs, distribution of walis tingting to spread the word about cleanliness that you dont need an expensive tool to accomplish that and even clean some rivers through the "Sagip Ilog program" and many more that I could say I am proud I did.

I received a complaint from the Deans Office. Its about my Facebook notes to my surprised. I am a frustrated writer, flight attendant, newscaster, fashion model, fashion designer and well, that is why maybe I am into designing and constructing houses..theres the similarities anyway. I love to spent my saturdays in school till I experienced a traumatic event that changes everything. About the complaint of someone who was not wothy of anyones time. My hubby and moi fight about this. Nightmares and more like a torture for receiving this one page of paper with my name and somebody was complaining? I am so surprise...If carlos Celdran offended the religious feelings of the catholic church..this one is offending her feelng...what an absurd reason. and to think she just can talk to me but instead write a letter of complaint as in kinarir for moi...for what? to destroy my very pretty name? for her satisfaction that Grace Nicolas will say sorry to her as her condition for her to widraw the complaint? She taught its as easy as one two three.

Now my Facebook account I am so sure is under monitor, well bring it on, fans.....As long as I know that what I am doing is right, as long as I have my life...I can stand alone without nobody in my side to fight for the truth. It's not easy to lie, she looks so thin now, well she should be cos of her conscience, I am sure she cannot even sleep now. If people or the administration will think about all of this...there will be only ONE question......who is the one who is in need..of money, fame, insecure, no family, no husband but with a child...who doesnt have everything that I could say even I am not fortunate with so many things like those things from JLO, Heart or Kris, I could say I am fortunate I have family who loves me, I can do a lot of things and could make it happen and don't need to work for my no father child cos his daddy has his own legal family.

There are many situations. I am not rude really, people always took advantage of me and i just gave in..well, they like that, ok have them, but it will not be for long. I believe in karma and one of these days, I know it will happen to somebody. i am still naive, my parents love me so much and visiting me everyday, giving wisdom, challenges and love that nobody could do. Yes I am a bragger, not just a blogger, If I offended you, it is your feelings, write a note too about moi, this is happening now here at Burger King before I went to my bestfriend, nothing, just to check my fb and to write this note from my mind and heart...I am still confuse but I am sure..the truth will set us all free.