March 3, 2011- Saw my published post since 2010, can’t believe about the different idea , curiosity, eagerness, feelings and information I wrote. As a project Engineer of my own Company and working for almost two decades which I think more than, compare to my adult life. Middle ages women are usually full of guilt, revenge and empowered. With the experiences and wisdom from the inside and outside world, one kid cannot imagine what life is all about but in the eyes of an empowered women, life is just starting with all the drama, insecurities and traumatic experienced, a woman is stronger than before.
With a life like a wheel with ups and down and yet limited in time, one came through the struggle and criticisms of reality. Without it, you don’t exist or you are not human. When my kid got sick, with disappointments in life, turnaround of events and tears, I am still thankful for so many chances and options this amazing and mysterious life is giving me. I am just comparing myself to those much unfortunate individuals who are begging for alms, no family and nothing to look forward to.
I believe that life without love is a mess. There will be no hope, no faith, no wishes and no joys. I love to write and that is for sure. I love to help and can even give the only money I have to others if need to. I did that anyway. No proofs but only a talkative me. That is me and I believe that honesty is the best policy. I am with my eldest daughter right now. She is in her deep sleep while with air conditioned room, she even open the portable electric fan for me because I complained for mosquitos. Now I am so cold like a dead fish. I remember all the people with me during the past year. What a company I had with them. All of them, no work, so I told one of them this morning to organize a group of 200 individuals for a job fair through my friend with a manpower agency. Sometimes, the problem is with the individual, so choosy with work and no time for free skills to be given after the seminar or training event.
It’s almost 9:30 pm and I want to finish this. I remember how wonderful is my mother since then till now. I am always telling this to my daughters and telling to everyone how proud I am not only having an amazing mother but a responsible father who is always in front of me ever morning, visiting me to give wisdom because he believes that as one grow older, she should gain wisdom. Yes, I am a proud daughter. Nobody is perfect but for me they are. Talking with different kinds of people with their oh so different status of living, background of education and upbringing gives me an ample time to realize the fortune and love that somebody up there tried hard for me to experienced. Middle aged yes I am, but truly, one stuck at 17 years old, Is it only moi or everyone?
I am sleepy now and realized I am like writing like a diary like theme, oh yes, young at heart. I always wanted to be a writer anyway and with this oh so uber good technology and a laptop from my wonderful husband, everything is coming true. The are all sleeping including my two housekeepers. I am wishing for every problem one have a quick solution but not hara-kiri. I remember my foreigner client this morning, how nice of him with an honest smile, he is young with a Filipina wife. And how fortunate the Philippines that he is enjoying every minute of his stay in this third world country. Amazing is my favorite expression so far aside from “ are you taking me as stupid?” and “bureaucracy”. Easy to say and nobody is complaining.